Turtle Woman Women's Circle

I went along to the women's circle I was invited to yesterday. It wasn't as ecstatic experience as the Red Tent circle group and I'm trying to figure out why. The group was a pretty amazing bunch of women, 7 in total including me. And we went through the smudging and then did a bit of circle to get ourselves present, followed by pulling a couple of cards (Dreamcatcher and Retreat) and journey work.

I think my problem is that I'm a bit of a snob and I have no idea why I'm acting this way. They were wonderful women but rough and I'm not sure why but I'm pulling away from this. Most of the pagan/spiritual stuff I have been involved in has felt smooth and light. This felt rough and raw, which I'm actually thinking is how shamanism should feel. And the thing is it wasn't even the ritual, or circle that has me arked up, it was talking with them afterwards.

Of the 7 women there, 6 had lost someone close to them in the last 2 years. That brought me home, grounded me, and made me realise I'm possibly living a bit too much into my grief, too much into the victim, the wound.

So it wasn't as an amazing experience as the Red Tent. I have issues I need to work through with it, primarily my own ego. I'm not sure whether I'll go back next month. I'd like to think I would, but I guess I'll see how the next few days go.

Moonee Ponds Healers Market - June

Today was the first time I went to the Moonee Ponds Healers Market. Its held in the community hall, down near the library. Its quite a small hall, so it was a bit crowded but all in all quite good. There were the usual tacky jewelery stalls that you get with these things, but there were also a couple of good crystal stalls. A few tarot readers, as well as a few Reiki healers. What drew my eye immediately was the Turtle Woman stall.

A wander around the stalls drew me to one of the crystal stalls where I found a piece of Unakite which I bought later and is now sitting in my bra. I signed up to have a healing with the Turtle Woman and while I waited got a quick Reiki healing which was centering I guess, but I didn't really feel it work.

The Turtle Woman stall was the best one for me. I went and immediately felt good. She did a smudge cleansing using Sage (burnt the sage in a dish and using a feather wafted it over me to cleanse me) and then we prayed for guidance from my ancestors and hers to give me what I needed in todays session.

We pulled some cards from her 3 different decks. They weren't Tarot decks, more healers decks.

Past - Protection/Obsidion

• Don't want to get rid of this, need to bring it into the future
• Have been trying to protect myself from myself

Present - Sexuality

• Needing to learn my sexuality as a woman, having it come from me, not from outside sources

Future - Squirrel

• Need to centre
• Need to take care of myself

We then asked for more clarity and one of the cards pulled out was the Storm card. When I explained to her what the significance of that card was, with Kim, she thanked me as this was the first time she was back doing healings after losing her sister in law around Mothers Day.

She asked her guides for ways to bring the protection into the future, and got images of me shrouded in mist, being unable to see through it all, which is my depression. She then said she was getting a prayer over and over in her head, the Hail Mary, which apparently she doesn't even know, and suggested that this would be a good thing for me to use.

There was no way she could have known that the last time I said that prayer was when we were sitting around Kim's body, just after she died and said the Rosary. It was like Kim coming back and saying 'You protected me, I'm here to protect you.'

She then invited me to her drumming circle that she holds on the First Monday of every month. The next one being tomorrow night. She said that she doesn't invite many people to it, but that a few of the other healers at the market go and its held in her house which is why she keeps it small.

I'm nervous but I think I might attend.

Red Tent Circle - Taurus

Tonight was my first Red Tent Circle, held at the Serpentarius Healing Centre.

Words can barely describe how at home I felt, how right it felt, my whole body and soul were saying 'yes, this is it' the entire time I was there. I almost cried from relief a couple of times. I've helf back my spirituality for so long, and then floundered when I wanted to rekindle it, that going to this event with this amazing group of women and have it work and feel good and right and home that it is such a joyous relief.

We started by talking about the new moon in Taurus and expressions of this energy (positive: creativity, planning. Negative: overeating, overindulging) and then we did a meditation.

I saw quite easily and intensely the images of the meditation, the stars, the sand and the water. I could feel the warmth of the sand beneath my feet and heard distandly the creaking of the jetty as I walked across it. The clearing with Oshun was fairly enclosed, like a womb with the beautiful pool and waterfall in the middle surrounded by large bushes of jasmine. When we were told to float in the pool and look at the stars and then connect with our star selves I felt an intense rush of energy, power and connection. My whole body sang. The warmth of the pool soothed my sore leg and shoulder slowly.

After this we chose a card from the numerous Goddess decks around the circle. I'm not sure which deck I used but I got Artemis.

I am who I am
and I know who I am

Very fitting given how lost and disconnected I have felt recently. Its reassuring and a great affirmation to work with. Also fitting that she is one of the Goddesses I identified when I oiginally started working with Shamantic techniques.

I feel amazing right now. My whole body is tingling with energy, it has released knots in my neck and shoulders, my head is buzzing. I haven't felt like this for a long time and it is such a great feeling to know that I still can. I'm actually not sure I ever felt this spiritualy powerful before.

Samhain 2010

The Circle was set up with the tea light lantern in the north, the incense from the cleansing in the east, and 12 tea lights in glass jars around the permeter of the circle. I didn't notice but at one point after the circle had been cast K's dog approached the circle but didn't come inside.

Casting/cleansing

Had two of the girls use incense to clear the place, and then the ball rattles to remove any stuck negative energy. I then took the rattles and walked the circle three times, the first two times shaking the rattles, the last time swirling them.

“The circle is cast
This space is sacred”

Quarters

I walked to each of the quarters, shaking the rattles, swirling them when invoking.

“I call to the East,
Sisters of the Wind,
Send us your wisdom,
Enter this Sacred Space.”

“I call to the North,
Sisters of the Flame,
Send us your Courage,
Enter this Sacred Space.”

“I call to the West,
Sisters of the Wave,
Send us your Intuition,
Enter this Sacred Space.”

“I call to the South,
Sisters of the Earth,
Send us your Strength,
Enter this Sacred Space.”

Goddess Calls

"Goddess, Great Mother, Wise Woman, your daughters call, attend our rite this night

God, Great Father, Old One, your daughters call, attend our rite this night"

Working

At some point during the next section all the trees in the west started swaying wildly, with the wind rushing through them.

"We come tonight to honour the change in seasons. The wheel is turning, the veil of the world is thin. The light has been eaten b y the dark. The year is in shadow. We are in shadow.

It is in shadow that we face our darkest secrets and deepest fears. It is in shadow that we face the parts of ourselves we do not wish to recognise. It is in shadow that we cannot hide. It is in shadow that we are stripped bare. It is in the shadow that we are beaten down. It is in the shadow that we cannot breathe. It is in the shadow that we find the light inside. It is in shadow that we are transformed. It is in the shadow that we are reborn.

We come tonight to honour our ancestors. We honour those who have walked this path before. We honour those in whose footsteps we tread. We honour those who have departed this realm. We honour those our eyes can no longer see. We honour those who our hearts ache for. We honour those who make our souls sing.

The spirits of our ancestors are linked to ours, it flows through our veins, it is sacred, we are sacred, life is sacred. It is through them that we learn that we are all connected. There is no beginning, no ending, we move as one, through this life and the next. It is through them that we glimpse the bigger picture.

In this time of shadow, this time of introspection, this time of transformation, we ask our ancestors to hear us, to be present. We ask them to speak to us, to give us guidance, to give us courage, to give us strength, to give us comfort, to give us wisdom."

Libation

Held the glass of red wine up to the sky

"Ancestors, we honour you. Give us guidance, speak your words of wisdom to us and protect us this night."

Passed the wine around from person to person, each saying their own private toast.

Meditation

I instructed everyone to find a spot on the edge of the circle and face the outside. I then let them through a short meditation to connect with their ancestors and ask for guidance.

Tarot Card

The deck was shuffled and I approached each person instructing them to shuffle for themselves then take a card. Once they knew what card it was I placed it back into the deck, shuffling again before going to the next person. I got the 4 of Pentacles.

Dismissing

"Great Mother, Great Father, we thank you for your presence here at our rite. Until we meet again."

Shook the rattle at each of the quarters to clear them

“Sisters of the Earth,
I bid you farewell
Until we meet again.”

“Sisters of the Wave,
I bid you farewell
Until we meet again.”

“Sisters of the Flame,
I bid you farewell
Until we meet again.”

“Sisters of the Wind,
I bid you farewell
Until We meet again.”

Closing

Walked slowly around the circle in the reverse direction to the start shaking the rattles. Once I reached the beginning again I shook the rattles vigorously

“It is done.

The Circle is open.”

DIY Tab Curtains

So our bedroom was lacking... something. We have wanted to redo it for a while, new chest of drawers, pictures on the wall etc, but while we lack the funds to do it all at once we thought that new curtains might be a good start. We went looking in Spotlight, for their pre-made ones, however none of the designs or even colours of the big block ones were what we wanted, so we started brownsing in the upholstery/DIY curtains section and voila! A fabric that we both liked.

I bought 4m for $40 and then, the next day, realised I needed more for the tabs along the top, so bought another 50cm. Total $47.50 ($2.50 for the thread).

First step was to cut the 4m piece of fabric in two. Cats don't help too much, esp as they chase the scissors. Don't be fooled by her innocent look in this picture.


I then took the 50cm piece of fabric and cut it into 15cm strips along the width of the fabric. These I then cut into 2. These are for the tabs along the top. Sew up one side with right sides facing and you have your tabs. I made 12 tabs, 6 for each curtain.

Sew up the edges of the big 2m bits of fabric, I left the selvidges on so made sure I had a little bit of the pattern turned over and sewed up both sides.

Then I turned the top over 5cm, pinned 6 at equal spacing points along the top, making sure there was one at the beginning and end. Then did a double line of stitching, one at the top, and one at the bottom of the fold.


Time for hemming. Folded the bottom up twice to form a heavier base to pull the curtains down and sewed along the top. Iron the seams and you're done.


Before:


After:

Closet Purge

What better a way to start off 2010 than with a closet purge!

This was inspired by buying 3 pairs of shoes (all on sale) to replace at least 3 pairs of my old ones.

1 pair - work pair - had been wearing the old ones for 3 years, pretty much daily to work.
2 & 3 pair - Casual pairs - had bought them for when I went to Singapore, 5 years old.
4 pair - kitten heeled sandals - hadn't worn them in ages.
Unfortunately, due to the state of these I had to throw them out rather than donate them.

Replaced with 1 definate work pair, 1 black ballet flats (potential work wear) and 1 pair of black casual shoes, all have had 1st coat of water proofing, will do another soon.

In addition to these 4 pairs of shoes, I purged:
3 tops - hadn't worn any of them in over a year
2 jumpers - hadn't worn them and 1 gave me hives
3 dresses - worn very little
2 skirts - a bit big for me
5 shirts - pete won't notice
1 pair of high heels - worn once. painful shoes. Not likely to wear again
1 pair of thongs - never worn, was given them in a show bag.
All of these can go to the Salvos and are now sitting in a large black plastic bag. I shall drop them off tomorrow when I have access to a car.

Now to create my must have list of clothes for this year to buy (basics basics basics and a little flair) and then I'm set.

I think I need to play in my closet a bit more, see what I have and what can go with what, cause I often find myself struggling with what to wear.

Garden

Almost been a month since the last garden update.

The veggie patch is going well. Well most of it survived the unseasonably hot spell we had about a week after we put them in. Unfortunately the Spinach bolted and the peas shrivelled up. Too precious for the hot weather. The leeks (top left corner) are getting thicker. The Capsicum (back row) are growing taller. The Salvia (bottom left) are even flowering. And the Coriander survived which was a bit touch and go there for a while.

In their stead however we have planted some baby beetroots. Just yesterday. So they haven't had time to really take off yet. We shall see how they go.

The Grosse Tomato bush that we put in has grown a lot, as have the marigolds that were around its base to attract the aphids and other nasties.

Even the Apple Cucumber plant that Pete put in has got a flower on it. Wonder if I have to hand polinate it.

We've had this Rosemary bush for over a year now, starting from just 1 spring. Unfortunately it doesn't appear to have grown an awful lot this year. I feed it but it doesn't seem to do much. Could be too wet. I'll switch to watering once a week (if it hasn't rained) and see how it goes.

We also had some silverbeet and spinach growing in this pot, it also went to seed, so we ripped it out and put in this pretty Salvia. Its called Salvia Microphylla or Heatwave Blaze. Mum has heaps of them in her garden, she's a Salvia nut, but I must admit they look quite good.

The basil has taken off, so much so that I should probably contemplate making some pesto with it. Mmmm pesto.

The Tomatoberry bushes are going well, even have fruit on them, just need them to ripen now and we'll see how they taste.

And lastly our Lemon and Olive trees. The lemon tree had a stack of flowers on it, however it doesn't look like any fruit has formed. Probably a good thing as apparently a young citrus tree shouldn't fruit in its first year as it stunts the growth.