Turtle Woman (Tree Heart) Women's Circle - September

It had been a couple of months since I went to Turtle Woman's Womens Circle. I now know it is called the Tree Heart Circle, which I like.

Brought up a lot of things that I needed healing for, mostly around my guilt surrounding Kim's death, the whole idea that if what we think and speak manifests, then how did I not have some part in her death, considering I imagined what would happen if she died prior to the last round of diagnosis. I asked for healing and understanding from Spirit, and immediately afterwards Louise sat me down and we had a good chat. She's apparently taking me under her wing to try and help through these issues. Ask and ye shall receive.

The card I pulled was The Morning Star which immediately spoke of hope to me. However I then immediately quashed that and went on and on in my head about how I don't understand the card and couldn't possibly understand it etc. I sat in my own darkness and didn't want to come out. I acknowledged that in the circle. Louise also gave me her card, which was Lovers at the Feast which was all about hope as well as conscious eating which was very fitting.

The meditation saw me journey with Dog, who hasn't been the main guide before but was the only guide this time. I still struggle to see the faces of the Grandmother's Council and the ancestors, but I suspect thats my own ego jumping in there. I think I see people from my family but then immediately throw that idea out as it is just 'wishful thinking.' Though I guess who is to say who is right or not. Giama was the woman who gave me a gift this time, I actually kept trying to shift her image but she wouldn't stay different for long. She gave me an acorn but also a white rose. In the pool of tears I curled into a ball and mourned and cried and felt the hurt and the pain and the depth of what I was feeling. Leaving the cave saw me geared in greek armour, with golden leather boots and breastplate with a flowing white robe underneath. It felt powerful and with added protection, something that I had felt that I needed.

Louise is going to email me about her woman's group, yes that'll be the fourth one I'm potentially involved with, as well as a fundraiser she's organising.