Turtle Woman Women's Circle

I went along to the women's circle I was invited to yesterday. It wasn't as ecstatic experience as the Red Tent circle group and I'm trying to figure out why. The group was a pretty amazing bunch of women, 7 in total including me. And we went through the smudging and then did a bit of circle to get ourselves present, followed by pulling a couple of cards (Dreamcatcher and Retreat) and journey work.

I think my problem is that I'm a bit of a snob and I have no idea why I'm acting this way. They were wonderful women but rough and I'm not sure why but I'm pulling away from this. Most of the pagan/spiritual stuff I have been involved in has felt smooth and light. This felt rough and raw, which I'm actually thinking is how shamanism should feel. And the thing is it wasn't even the ritual, or circle that has me arked up, it was talking with them afterwards.

Of the 7 women there, 6 had lost someone close to them in the last 2 years. That brought me home, grounded me, and made me realise I'm possibly living a bit too much into my grief, too much into the victim, the wound.

So it wasn't as an amazing experience as the Red Tent. I have issues I need to work through with it, primarily my own ego. I'm not sure whether I'll go back next month. I'd like to think I would, but I guess I'll see how the next few days go.