Red Tent Circle - Gemini

The night felt quite... disconnected but that is Gemini for you, flitting from idea to idea.

We did an activity where we wrote down 10 things that we wanted to bring into our lives but each of the 10 things was based upon a theme or a question.

10 Things to Bring into My Life

1. Physical - More activity, exercise
2. Projecting onto others and bring into myself - Patience
3. Words of Power - Courage and Fortitude
4. Fill yourself with Joy - Meditation and Earth Walks
5. Centre Yourself - Meditation
6. Adjustment or Decision - Stay or Go
7. Share - Heartache
8. Who or What as travelling Companions - Horse and Dingo
9. Outcome or Goal to which I am surrendering - Direction at Work
10. Commitment - Exercise and Meditation, forming a habit of both

The Goddess Card I drew was Brigid, which was kind of surprising seeing as she was in my life for quite a while back in 2001 however had disappeared when the Greek Pantheon were making themselves known.

Let me come to you, through the mists, through the fire

She is all about finding the creative spark inside, and nurturing it.

The meditation we did was meeting an eagle and having a conversation with it to gain a message.

The message from the eagle was unclear at first, like he was waiting for me to get it. Patience and Fortitude. Keep doing my spiritual work. I got the image I have had many times of a gypsy/shaman holding an eagle with her eyes penetrating my soul. My hair was dark in the meditation, dark brown, not black. My clothes were different, instead of the usual white shift I wore a white tunic and pants with a grey woolen bolero jacket and a white scarf that flew in the wind. Indian style. The circle was up at Falls Creek, though that could be where I'm making it be. I found it easy to shift and become an eagle, connect with it. The sensation of flight wasn't especially new to me and I shifted easily back.

I need to gain/gather my strength, my power, I need to focus on it and surrender myself to it.

The manifestations that I wish to bring into my life before the next New Moon:

• Completion of All-4-Biz
• Regular Meditation Practice
• Malkuth Chapter
• Crocheting
• Exercise - Yoga and Walking

Next new moon I need to write my manifestations properly, like affirmations. They feel more powerful when I do that.

Turtle Woman Women's Circle

I went along to the women's circle I was invited to yesterday. It wasn't as ecstatic experience as the Red Tent circle group and I'm trying to figure out why. The group was a pretty amazing bunch of women, 7 in total including me. And we went through the smudging and then did a bit of circle to get ourselves present, followed by pulling a couple of cards (Dreamcatcher and Retreat) and journey work.

I think my problem is that I'm a bit of a snob and I have no idea why I'm acting this way. They were wonderful women but rough and I'm not sure why but I'm pulling away from this. Most of the pagan/spiritual stuff I have been involved in has felt smooth and light. This felt rough and raw, which I'm actually thinking is how shamanism should feel. And the thing is it wasn't even the ritual, or circle that has me arked up, it was talking with them afterwards.

Of the 7 women there, 6 had lost someone close to them in the last 2 years. That brought me home, grounded me, and made me realise I'm possibly living a bit too much into my grief, too much into the victim, the wound.

So it wasn't as an amazing experience as the Red Tent. I have issues I need to work through with it, primarily my own ego. I'm not sure whether I'll go back next month. I'd like to think I would, but I guess I'll see how the next few days go.

Moonee Ponds Healers Market - June

Today was the first time I went to the Moonee Ponds Healers Market. Its held in the community hall, down near the library. Its quite a small hall, so it was a bit crowded but all in all quite good. There were the usual tacky jewelery stalls that you get with these things, but there were also a couple of good crystal stalls. A few tarot readers, as well as a few Reiki healers. What drew my eye immediately was the Turtle Woman stall.

A wander around the stalls drew me to one of the crystal stalls where I found a piece of Unakite which I bought later and is now sitting in my bra. I signed up to have a healing with the Turtle Woman and while I waited got a quick Reiki healing which was centering I guess, but I didn't really feel it work.

The Turtle Woman stall was the best one for me. I went and immediately felt good. She did a smudge cleansing using Sage (burnt the sage in a dish and using a feather wafted it over me to cleanse me) and then we prayed for guidance from my ancestors and hers to give me what I needed in todays session.

We pulled some cards from her 3 different decks. They weren't Tarot decks, more healers decks.

Past - Protection/Obsidion

• Don't want to get rid of this, need to bring it into the future
• Have been trying to protect myself from myself

Present - Sexuality

• Needing to learn my sexuality as a woman, having it come from me, not from outside sources

Future - Squirrel

• Need to centre
• Need to take care of myself

We then asked for more clarity and one of the cards pulled out was the Storm card. When I explained to her what the significance of that card was, with Kim, she thanked me as this was the first time she was back doing healings after losing her sister in law around Mothers Day.

She asked her guides for ways to bring the protection into the future, and got images of me shrouded in mist, being unable to see through it all, which is my depression. She then said she was getting a prayer over and over in her head, the Hail Mary, which apparently she doesn't even know, and suggested that this would be a good thing for me to use.

There was no way she could have known that the last time I said that prayer was when we were sitting around Kim's body, just after she died and said the Rosary. It was like Kim coming back and saying 'You protected me, I'm here to protect you.'

She then invited me to her drumming circle that she holds on the First Monday of every month. The next one being tomorrow night. She said that she doesn't invite many people to it, but that a few of the other healers at the market go and its held in her house which is why she keeps it small.

I'm nervous but I think I might attend.