Drumming Circle - July

Tonight was my first drumming circle where we all got drums to hold and use throughout the circle. Most of the other people had their own drums but Joyce had a spare one for me to use. We drummed and chanted and sang songs. There was a small meditation in the middle of it, but it was different to Karen's circles in that it was more drumming and letting you go where you wanted to with the drums rather than a full on circle. Will have to get used to the new style.

Red Tent Circle - Cancer

The circle was larger tonight, 11 women in total. I'm not sure I liked the larger group but we shall see. Next month I'm going to sit in a different area of the circle as I have sat in the south east for the last 3 sessions.

We pulled Oracle cards and I got Isis - This situation involves your past life memories. I'm pondering perhaps this is what a past life connection is like, met in a previous life which potentially explains the connections.

It took a while to get me into the meditation, my back and neck were still, my lower back ached. I swirled into my third eye Chakra and into the boat. In between these two the space was quite dark and cavernous. I found I wanted to look around and see where I was in the boat. I didn't want to just lie there, I didn't want to trust where it was going. I started out in a large lake before it became a river. A large Greek Temple greeted me, gleaming white in the sun but with a dark entrance. I took the lantern and went into the darkness and came to a circle ampitheatre with an altar in the north. There I met Isis. She asked for when I have recently felt that I have lacked mothering and immediately I thought about recent relationships. I cried and let it out. It was/is a massive burden. She enveloped me in her arms and I felt surrounded by love, understanding and compassion. On coming out of the meditation my chest felt larger. The space between my back on the floor to my heart felt large and light which I'm taking is a good thing.

We then did a Past, Present, Future spread with one of the other women. Charlene and I pulled cards that the other person interpreted.

Past - Adili - Thoughts create your reality, be conscious of what you choose. The additional images that Charlene got were young and naive and the number 12.

Present - Glispa - Healing power within, healing through music. When we looked at the book the big things that jumped out where Shamanism and Drumming. Good thing I'm going to that Shamanic Drumming Circle in a fortnight.

Future - Isis - Heart will be healed, have faith, strength for heartbroken of the beloved, Charlene got the impression that it was a woman involved though.

Interesting reading. Isis is apparently calling at the moment and the Shamanic Drumming Circle is the way to go on the full moon.

Manifestations

I am worthy of self respect

I choose nurturing food and drink

I am capable and kick arse

I release my anger

I release unhealthy connections

I nurture myself

Maintain regular meditation

Walk frequently

See physio about back

Distance myself

Share more with P

Strengthen my back

Start Drumming

Turtle Woman Women's Circle - July

I went back to the circle this month, despite my previous misgivings over my own ego and I'm really glad I did. I felt welcomed back immediately and safe and cocooned in the group. There were a few more women there this time, and a few women from last time were unable to make it. All up there were 11 of us, so a bigger group but still the connectedness was there.

I spoke about Mel and her scans that need to happen and put her name on the healing list. Joyce, one of the elders of the group, reminded me that we are unable to see the bigger picture and we just have to trust and let people go on their own journeys. I then told everyone of the message from Kim, of her not being sad because she can see the bigger picture.

Several of the group were undergoing pain and it was good to be reminded that we're not alone in our pain. The weird thing is, pain makes us shut off from the world and thats when we need the world, need our connections the most.

The card I pulled was Enchantment, reminding me to see the childlike joy in things. It seems I'm getting that message a lot at the moment, to enjoy life, laugh, delight in it.

The journey was interesting, I went where I was told to go. I had a new animal accompanying me, Hawk. We went to the Grandmother's Council and the messages that I got were forgiveness and fortitude. A sense that its ok, things will get better, I just need to weather it for now.

After the circle had closed I was speaking with a couple of the women and Joyce invited me to her drumming group on the 26th of July, coincidentally the full moon. It seems that when I least expect it, but open myself to it, groups and connections come out of the woodwork.

A realisation tonight was that I connected too much to a song where a guy gave the girl the breath of life, woke her up, unfroze her. And I can't always rely on that connection to be there, or fulfill that role, it is unfair of me to do so. I have to learn to fulfill it for myself, to pull myself up and light up my own life.

Daunting but true words