Red Tent Circle - Leo

Tonight was somewhat disappointing. I think I'm letting the facilitator get to me, she doesn't seem to be very structured and therefore her circles are quite fragmented and jumpy which I don't particularly like. Other times it hasn't bothered me quite so much but with just me, her and one other tonight it was quite strong. Not sure what to do with that. On one hand it certainly highlights doing the facilitator training, but I kind of feel like I'm betraying that group by starting my own, even though there isn't anything out this side of the city really.

One of the facilitator courses coming up is for the Inner Goddess Makeover which could be interesting.

So tonight we pulled cards and I got Athena, so all about trusting my inner wisdom which is part of the manifestations I made yesterday. In the meditation was more maiden/inner child healing being required though the meditation itself felt quite strong, we met Brigid and assisted her in birthing some lambs. The purple forest flower is my symbol.

Manifestations:

1. I will leave Fitness First
2. I will start Yoga Practice
3. I will go back to Martial Arts
4. I will relearn how to play
5. I will encourage my inner strength
6. I will listen to my inner truth
7. I will rediscover the magic of the universe
8. I will meditate twice a week
9. I will nurture myself
10. I will embrace healing

Red Tent Circle - Cancer

The circle was larger tonight, 11 women in total. I'm not sure I liked the larger group but we shall see. Next month I'm going to sit in a different area of the circle as I have sat in the south east for the last 3 sessions.

We pulled Oracle cards and I got Isis - This situation involves your past life memories. I'm pondering perhaps this is what a past life connection is like, met in a previous life which potentially explains the connections.

It took a while to get me into the meditation, my back and neck were still, my lower back ached. I swirled into my third eye Chakra and into the boat. In between these two the space was quite dark and cavernous. I found I wanted to look around and see where I was in the boat. I didn't want to just lie there, I didn't want to trust where it was going. I started out in a large lake before it became a river. A large Greek Temple greeted me, gleaming white in the sun but with a dark entrance. I took the lantern and went into the darkness and came to a circle ampitheatre with an altar in the north. There I met Isis. She asked for when I have recently felt that I have lacked mothering and immediately I thought about recent relationships. I cried and let it out. It was/is a massive burden. She enveloped me in her arms and I felt surrounded by love, understanding and compassion. On coming out of the meditation my chest felt larger. The space between my back on the floor to my heart felt large and light which I'm taking is a good thing.

We then did a Past, Present, Future spread with one of the other women. Charlene and I pulled cards that the other person interpreted.

Past - Adili - Thoughts create your reality, be conscious of what you choose. The additional images that Charlene got were young and naive and the number 12.

Present - Glispa - Healing power within, healing through music. When we looked at the book the big things that jumped out where Shamanism and Drumming. Good thing I'm going to that Shamanic Drumming Circle in a fortnight.

Future - Isis - Heart will be healed, have faith, strength for heartbroken of the beloved, Charlene got the impression that it was a woman involved though.

Interesting reading. Isis is apparently calling at the moment and the Shamanic Drumming Circle is the way to go on the full moon.

Manifestations

I am worthy of self respect

I choose nurturing food and drink

I am capable and kick arse

I release my anger

I release unhealthy connections

I nurture myself

Maintain regular meditation

Walk frequently

See physio about back

Distance myself

Share more with P

Strengthen my back

Start Drumming

Red Tent Circle - Gemini

The night felt quite... disconnected but that is Gemini for you, flitting from idea to idea.

We did an activity where we wrote down 10 things that we wanted to bring into our lives but each of the 10 things was based upon a theme or a question.

10 Things to Bring into My Life

1. Physical - More activity, exercise
2. Projecting onto others and bring into myself - Patience
3. Words of Power - Courage and Fortitude
4. Fill yourself with Joy - Meditation and Earth Walks
5. Centre Yourself - Meditation
6. Adjustment or Decision - Stay or Go
7. Share - Heartache
8. Who or What as travelling Companions - Horse and Dingo
9. Outcome or Goal to which I am surrendering - Direction at Work
10. Commitment - Exercise and Meditation, forming a habit of both

The Goddess Card I drew was Brigid, which was kind of surprising seeing as she was in my life for quite a while back in 2001 however had disappeared when the Greek Pantheon were making themselves known.

Let me come to you, through the mists, through the fire

She is all about finding the creative spark inside, and nurturing it.

The meditation we did was meeting an eagle and having a conversation with it to gain a message.

The message from the eagle was unclear at first, like he was waiting for me to get it. Patience and Fortitude. Keep doing my spiritual work. I got the image I have had many times of a gypsy/shaman holding an eagle with her eyes penetrating my soul. My hair was dark in the meditation, dark brown, not black. My clothes were different, instead of the usual white shift I wore a white tunic and pants with a grey woolen bolero jacket and a white scarf that flew in the wind. Indian style. The circle was up at Falls Creek, though that could be where I'm making it be. I found it easy to shift and become an eagle, connect with it. The sensation of flight wasn't especially new to me and I shifted easily back.

I need to gain/gather my strength, my power, I need to focus on it and surrender myself to it.

The manifestations that I wish to bring into my life before the next New Moon:

• Completion of All-4-Biz
• Regular Meditation Practice
• Malkuth Chapter
• Crocheting
• Exercise - Yoga and Walking

Next new moon I need to write my manifestations properly, like affirmations. They feel more powerful when I do that.

Red Tent Circle - Taurus

Tonight was my first Red Tent Circle, held at the Serpentarius Healing Centre.

Words can barely describe how at home I felt, how right it felt, my whole body and soul were saying 'yes, this is it' the entire time I was there. I almost cried from relief a couple of times. I've helf back my spirituality for so long, and then floundered when I wanted to rekindle it, that going to this event with this amazing group of women and have it work and feel good and right and home that it is such a joyous relief.

We started by talking about the new moon in Taurus and expressions of this energy (positive: creativity, planning. Negative: overeating, overindulging) and then we did a meditation.

I saw quite easily and intensely the images of the meditation, the stars, the sand and the water. I could feel the warmth of the sand beneath my feet and heard distandly the creaking of the jetty as I walked across it. The clearing with Oshun was fairly enclosed, like a womb with the beautiful pool and waterfall in the middle surrounded by large bushes of jasmine. When we were told to float in the pool and look at the stars and then connect with our star selves I felt an intense rush of energy, power and connection. My whole body sang. The warmth of the pool soothed my sore leg and shoulder slowly.

After this we chose a card from the numerous Goddess decks around the circle. I'm not sure which deck I used but I got Artemis.

I am who I am
and I know who I am

Very fitting given how lost and disconnected I have felt recently. Its reassuring and a great affirmation to work with. Also fitting that she is one of the Goddesses I identified when I oiginally started working with Shamantic techniques.

I feel amazing right now. My whole body is tingling with energy, it has released knots in my neck and shoulders, my head is buzzing. I haven't felt like this for a long time and it is such a great feeling to know that I still can. I'm actually not sure I ever felt this spiritualy powerful before.